Scarier than a bomb
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 By Mike Maurer
Some fellow sent Rep. John Boehner a pound of bacon, and his Cincinnati-area staffers are so far removed from ordinary work such as food production that when the package leaked “oily residue,” they couldn’t discern any clues as to what it might be.
Fortunately, the federal government existed to call for help, and Homeland Security processed the danger into a rapid response rubric and subsequent federal funding application.
A cardboard cutout of Boehner was posted in his Cincinnati-area office and a press release taped to it stating, “It was stupid to mail bacon to me. I don’t do pork. Now let me get back to the important work of passing the bailout bill. No, I mean this week’s bailout bill.”
Careful investigation revealed the package was mailed from Georgia. Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner immediately contacted the sender and asked him to come to Ohio to vote.
